Summer is coming to an end, and it is a bittersweet moment for me.
With only three weeks left of summer holidays I find myself feeling sad, but at the same time looking forward to it.
As a mom who works part time in retail, I often find myself with days off during the week. These days are at the expense of most of my weekends. But in the summer, it allows me to get lots of precious one-on-one time with both of my children.
During the last weeks of summer, I always end up doing the same thing. I find myself wondering where the summer has gone. Did I work so much I missed it? Thoughts of letting my children down and wasted opportunities start to overwhelm me. What did we even do this summer? We haven’t even made it to the beach!
The predictable routine of school days makes me take for granted how much harder it is to get things done when both my children are home all day. It makes me forget how difficult it can be to fill up those days with something other than screen time. And of course, it allows me to get used to the small daycare costs.
With summer coming to a close, the relaxing days full of family movies, random trips to the park, and lazy pool days will soon disappear. The stress of choosing which lunch items I won’t receive judgment for, and the compromise of comfort versus modesty will return in full force.
Though my workload, wallet, and house will be grateful, my heart already aches for the loss of time.
The guilt of being a mother who works is already returning. The pressure to make every minute count is already present. There are often days during the school year in which I only see my children for two hours a day. And that is if I am lucky.
I have to step back and try to put things into perspective.
My children have had a fantastic summer, even if I wasn’t there to see it all. I have to remember that even if I do work a lot, several people love my children dearly, and the task of having a summer worth remembering doesn’t fall solely on me.
My daughter took horseback riding lessons, and my son played soccer. My son had the wonderful opportunity to go to STEM Camp and my daughter had a blast at Theater Camp. We all got to spend a week at a beautiful cottage near Kingston.
Our summer has been full of fun and family, and when you get right down to it, those are the things that matter.
So sure, we didn’t make it to the beach, but we did spend almost every day in Grandma’s heated pool.